Guest Post: A Mum You Have When You Don’t Have Your Mom

G'day Y'all...I’m Jan and I blog over at ‘Memoirs of an Aussie’. I first met Nicole a few months ago online through her blog and began communicating with her on expat related blog posts and also via twitter. My first connection with Nicole was that I too were an expat, but an Aussie living in her wonderful homeland, the USA. For three years our family lived in Tacoma, Washington State and then spent two years in Dallas, Texas. Hence my greeting: G'day Y'all. In late June 2009, not long before Nicole arrived here, I moved back to my hometown of Bendigo, in Victoria, Australia.

As an expat I not only enjoyed reading blogs about other people’s expat experiences, but took an interest in how expats living both here in Australia, and in other countries cope with being away from their homeland.You make so much personal growth as an expat, which at the time might not seem significant. You also find yourself becoming more patriotic and protective of your homeland, but being an expat is not as easy as it seems. Sure, it opens doors for travel adventures, new work opportunities, creates excitement learning a different culture of another country...it certainly pushes you out of your comfort zone. However, something you don’t really prepare yourself for until it hits you like a ton of bricks is... ‘Culture Shock!’

Socially, economically, and culturally, I believe Australia and America are very similar, so when differences do appear, it takes one by surprise. The excitement, delight and adventure of being in a new country can quickly turn into homesickness and disillusionment with your host country. I managed to move through the stages quite smoothly, but I have witnessed some expats really battle with it. We always saw our family's experience and opportunity to live in the US as a positive, and always got out there and embraced the culture, and it's people. I personally saw it as an adventure, and considered myself to be on one long vacation. This positive outlook is another connection I believe I have with Nicole.

My husband and I recently had the pleasure of meeting in real life, Nicole and Caz (another young expat 'twenty-something blogger') when we were in Melbourne. I came away that night pondering once again if my own children would one day, as twenty-something young adults, live once again the expat life, but next time without us. These young ladies are so brave! You can read my blog post about our meet-up here.

When Nicole asked me to be a guest blogger, I was flattered, and as silly as it may sound, felt like she might have asked me because she maybe sees me as an expat mom figure, as someone who has been through it, having been an expat myself. Today when I sat down to begin my guest post as a 'forty-something blogger', I took a peak again at fellow guest blogger, Kristen's post and noticed that Nicole’s mom had commented on it and something hit me! As a mother, this guest post opportunity should be written also for Nicole’s mom from me, an Aussie repatriate mum who has befriended her daughter. So here goes…

Hey there Nicole’s Mom,

Firstly, I don’t need to tell you how incredible your daughter is...you know that! I did hear however that her cooking skills may need a little improvement, cooking 'from scratch' is a challenge, but she’s apparently working on that!

My goodness though, the confidence and drive in life this girl has makes me reflect on my own life, whether as a twenty-something young single adult, I would have been as brave as her and moved to a foreign country. She appears to be assimilating very well to life in Australia...you must be so proud of her!

I don’t doubt that Nicole is probably experiencing, and will continue to experience the stages of 'Culture Shock' that I mentioned above, but I honestly think this young lady will handle it just fine. Nicole is treating her time in Australia so positively and embracing every opportunity. She has already built a wonderful friendship network in fellow expats, and I’m sure made other friends too. I’ve witnessed first-hand expats who don’t embrace their new home, its culture and its people positively, then have a miserable time; they become depressed and whine and moan about their experience and the people. Not your Nicole!

As a mum/mom, I just want to let Nicole and you know that I am here for her should she ever need...'a mum you have when you don’t have your mom'. Our family is looking forward to having Nicole and some of her expat 'mates' up to Bendigo soon for a weekend in November. She’ll also get to hang out with our kids and see our town. We’re really looking forward to that!

Anyways, please take comfort that Nicole is doing a 'good job' living in the land down under and our family is there for her, should she need us!

Kind regards,

Cheers!

Jan :)

P.S. Happy Halloween from Bendigo!

Guest Post: I'm Not Settlin'

While Nicole is off frolicking around the likes of New Zealand, here I am to bridge the gap for her fabulous readers. Enjoy!

I met Nicole in high school, and I think I felt drawn to her humor and sass right away. I used to joke with her in high school that she could talk her way into and out of anything. (Probably why she got into the marketing & PR field!) I swear to this day that she talked our junior year English teacher into giving her an A without even reading one page of Huck Finn! However, as our friendship developed, it turns out she has amazing qualities that go beyond her quick wits. When Nicole started blogging over a year ago I loved being able to hear about her daily adventures in Chicago, and I contemplated starting my own blog, but I didn't know where to begin. Well, here I am months later with my own blog, in large part to Nicole's encouragement.

I put some time into thinking about what I wanted to write today, partly because there were many topics I considered, and partly because I feel the need to live up to Nicole’s typical sass. Eventually I settled on the one thing that really makes me feel connected to Nicole on a daily basis even though we are living on opposite sides of the globe, in countries with different languages, time zones, and customs. We are both living as ex-pats.

This means we both wanted something more out of life. More than graduating college and moving back to St. Paul, Minnesota for our many remaining years. More than choosing a life of familiarity and comfort and consistency. More than dating the same old guys, settling down, and playing house at the age of 22. More than settling for a life without risks.

Sure, sure, we both have endless friends doing those things and they are happy, fulfilled people with wonderful, joy-filled futures ahead of them. But that just isn’t me, and it isn’t Nicole. When she called to tell me she purchased a one way ticket to Australia, I was more than shocked by her choice to uproot what appeared to be a very stable existence in Chicago. She was probably equally shocked by my decision to move to Cali, Colombia to teach math in an international school for two years.

However, underneath our mutual shock we understood one another. At some point you just have to take the leap. For us, that meant moving to a different country, a different continent, it meant going on an adventure. But, what does that mean for you? You can leap any way you want to, anywhere you are right now, but you just have to take the first step.

I know, change isn’t easy for anyone. Sure, there can be benefits to it, but that doesn’t make it easy. To step outside yourself, to take a risk, requires both personal strength, great determination, and amazingly supportive friends and family members. And, spoiler alert: Sometimes it's really, really hard and you miss people and events and feelings and places more than you ever thought possible. Sometimes your heart aches for the familiar and the comfortable. Sometimes your heart feels like it's going to burst with emotion because calling your best friend or your mom over Skype while you're in tears just doesn't seem like a good idea.

But let me just tell you a little secret, it's worth it. Everytime. In every way. The thrill of living a life where not everything is predictable and not everything goes according to plan is a life of wonder, curiosity and immeasurable personal growth. I know we are all at different places in our lives, but wherever you are be a risk taker. Don't settle for mediocracy. Don't settle for being unhappy in your relationships, your jobs, your personal growth, your living situation, your life. In the past three months of living abroad I have changed in exciting ways, and I will always be a better person for the choice I have made. What choice are you going to make?

With that, here is some inspiration that always motivates me to just jump and see where I land:

I ain't settling for just getting by
I've had enough so so for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
Just not giving up this time
I ain't settling for anything less than everything, yeah
[Sugarland, "Settlin'"]

Thanks for reading!

p.s. Inspirational credits to my friend and travel buddy from Spain (2007), Lisa, who sent me a wonderfully empowering Facebook message last night. She's not settling for anything less than she deserves right now, and if you ask me she deserves the very best! :)

Guest Posters

As I'm sitting here on my couch watching crap Sunday night television, snacking on popcorn and chocolate chips, I've decided to have a few of my blogger/tweeter pals guest post for me while I'm gone this week. I've left the topics up to them and given them free reign over my blog, so get ready for some serious fun while I'm away and enjoy some of my favorite cyber ladies!! So be sure to stop over this week, make them feel welcome, leave a comment or two and let them know how great they are!!

So far here is a quick overview of the lineup for the week ahead:

Kristin from Coffee Calculations and Colombia

Lindsay from Tales of a Yank

Jade from well everywhere on the web!!

Jan from Memoirs of an Aussie

There may be one or two more we'll see :)

I Love Being On Holiday

I wish I could say that I have been super productive lately and that's why my blog is only being updated once a week, but in all honesty I have just been enjoying my 12-month holiday way too much. The summer air is in full swing and the sweatshirts have been put away for the duration of my trip (hopefully). I've spent the past few days recovering from my weekend in Sydney, doing washing, catching up on my favorite aussie TV shows and all the time in between has been put towards afternoons in the sun enjoying the BBQ :)

The next few weeks are going to be just as dodgy when it comes to frequent blog updates - Tuesday morning I am off to New Zealand for a week to see two of my good friends from Chicago!! Daniel and Zach have already been in NZ for a week, but I am catching up with them early Tuesday morning in Queenstown. We're going to play tourist there for a few days, then making the amazing drive up to Christchurch for Daniel's mom's 50th birthday!! I couldn't be more excited to jet off to spend the week with them and I know that we are in for some serious debauchery!! So plenty of photos and stories to come next week!

The day I get back to Melbourne is Cup Day at the race track. Everyone in Victoria has the day off (At least I think they do - maybe one of my aussie readers can confirm that detail) and gets all frocked up for a day filled with horse racing, fancy dresses, oversized hats and of course lots of aussie beer and BBQ's. A group of my friend's have organized a car park at the track to set up a tent, food and drinks for the day! Going to be such a great way to wrap up my NZ holiday and crossing my fingers that some of the 90 degree weather will stick around by the time I get back to Melbs.

P.Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

(Ferry out to Manly Beach)

I arrived in Sydney early Friday morning and from the minute I hopped off the plane until I drunkenly stumbled back on four days later - I had the most amazing time! Daisy was sweet enough to not only let me stay at her beachside villa on Bondi for the weekend, but she also jumped on board as my personal tour guide and photographer as well!! I couldn't have asked for better weather the entire time I was there. It was easily 75 and sunny all four days and was such a treat to be able to pull out the sundresses and flip flops!


Friday I spent the afternoon exploring Bondi Beach and the shops around Bondi junction. I ventured down the 5 km walking path from Bondi to Bronte and have never seen such fantastic views of the ocean in my life. I wish I would have brought my camera with when I finally made it to the end of the path because there is a cemetery that overlooks the ocean with hundreds of huge headstones dating back into the late 1700's. Truly one of the more fascinating experiences in my life.

(Ferry trip from Darling Harbour out to North Sydney for lunch)

Saturday, Daisy and I went all over Sydney taking in every last drop of tourist heaven that Sydney has to offer. We started out at Darling Harbour and had a great time snapping photos of the skyline and making way our way down to the ferry to head over to North Sydney for the aussie favorite 'fish and chips' for lunch.

That afternoon we hopped back on the ferry (my new favorite mode of transportation if anyone is keeping track) to Circular Quay where we took pictures of the infamous Sydney Opera House. Ever since I decided to make the move from the US to Australia I have been dreaming about taking a picture in front of the opera house. I finally feel like a true aussie tourist with my opera house picture in hand. (Although it was so beautiful and absolutely stunning - I think I was so excited to get the picture that it made the experience a bit anti-climatic, but either way a great ex-pat experience!) I didn't get a chance to walk the Sydney Harbour Bridge this time around so it will definitely have to be on the 'to do' list for when my mom arrives in a few months!

(Again on the ferry about to get off at Circular Quay to take pics at the Opera House)

Other highlights of Saturday included the Royal Botanical Gardens, an art festival in Hyde Park, and a quick look at Luna Park in North Sydney.

Sunday morning a few of us got up to have breakfast at Icebergs cafe overlooking the ocean - if you ever make it to Bondi DEFINITELY stop into Icebergs. I wish I would have taken a dip into their 50 meter oceanside pool, but was a bit chilly for my liking. Later that afternoon we took the ferry out to Manly Beach and met up with a few of Daisy's uni mates. We enjoyed a few cocktails at Manly Wharf and took some fabulous photos. It was a bit chilly so we weren't able to stay at the beach long, but we were able to roam the streets and marinas before jumping back on the boat to Bondi.

(Icebergs cafe and swim club)

Monday, I spent the morning running down the Bondi to Bronte path again and then spent the entire afternoon laying on the beach catching some much needed sun!

All and all was a fantastic weekend and I can't wait to book another trip - hopefully in November!

Up and Running at Think Tank

My first post is up over at Think Tank Media - go over and have a look!

I will be posting once a week on FRIDAY'S not wednesday as I originally thought - so be sure to stop over, leave a comment or two and let me know what you think.

Thanks everyone!!


Have a big weekend planned, filled with lots of birthday festivities (not mine - But ,I'm in January if you are looking to send me presents) so if I had to guess won't be back to the land of blogs until Monday.

Yet Another Way to Track Me Down Each Week

I wanted to give all of my loyal Girl From Mih-Nee--Soo-Tah readers a heads up before FRIDAY when the rest of the world finds out about.......My BIG debut at Think Tank Media!

Think Tank Media is a boutique web development company based in Melbourne. They design websites, build brands, launch online marketing campaigns and even dabble in iPhone application development.

I will be posting weekly about anything and everything social media, marketing, PR and advertising related! Tomorrow's post will feature my thoughts on Twitter and how to effectively embrace and integrate all of the site's features into your daily routine.

If you have anything you would like me to consider for a weekly post just send me an email or a Tweet or a Facebook message or whatever mode communication you prefer :)

Here is the link to the blog: http://thinktankmedia.com.au/blog/

Hope to see you all over at Think Tank in the coming weeks!

Two Things....

As you can see I have had the Obama book on my sidebar for about a month now and let's just say it's currently being used as a coaster and pizza box holder next to my bed. I really tried to get into it and even plowed my way through the first 70 pages, but can't make myself read another sentence. It's not engaging and at some points terribly confusing. I'm sure President Obama is a very eloquent and talented writer at this stage in his life, but for one of his first shots at writing I wasn't a huge fan. (Sorry Mr. President - but don't be too worried we were all amateurs at one stage...)

So I have decided to abandon the cause and give it back to Lindsay for something new. Anyone have any new recommendations for my daily commute? I think I would like to read a non-fiction maybe biography of sorts - who has a good one?

Secondly.....

I was reading my favorite JCREW blog this morning and just about spit my latte all over my computer screen when I read the latest post. Apparently JCREW has been sending out special 'thank you' gifts to certain customers filled with free shipping codes, as well as heirloom earrings - valued at 45 freaking dollars!! So here's what I would like to know...

HOW THE HELL do these people get chosen to receive these seemingly random presents?? AND where's mine?!! It certainly cannot be based on the amount of money spent in the past 12 months, because at least 65% of every paycheck I received in Chicago went to the latest and greatest of the JCREW line. {Mom, I'm only joking I'm sure it wasn't that much :) }

So if I have any JCREW marketing or promotions executives reading along with my blog, please kindly leave a comment or even send me an email, and I will gladly update my new address in your system so you can send my 'thank you' directly to my doorstep.

{PS TO THE JCREW EXECS: YES IT WAS THAT MUCH WHEN DO I GET TO HAVE SOME FUN!}

Stop Settling for Mediocrity

Today is my three month anniversary of arriving in Melbourne and of course I'm shocked at how quickly the time has flown by! Looking back it seems like so much has happened in a very short period and yet somehow it feels like I've been here for ages, all in the same breath.

When I made the decision to move it was very impulsive. A friend of mine knew that I always wanted to go to Australia and half-heartedly suggested I look into traveling for a year. Three days later I was typing my MasterCard into the Australian government website to purchase my visa. Two hours after that I received an email stating my visa was active and I had to leave America within 60 days. An hour later my mother was having a small coronary, trying to comprehend how her daughter went from planning on moving 500 miles home, to packing her life up and going 8,000 miles around the globe.

Well, in my defense, she really should have seen it coming!

I have never been one for baby steps, I've always been more of a jump head first in the deep-end kind of girl; so when the idea of taking a year off to travel presented itself, there was no turning back. I had been happy in Chicago and was OK with how my life was going, but was never ecstatic or thrilled with how I was living. (Granted, I was finishing college and that only allows for so much personal freedom, but just hear me out.)

45 days later I arrived at baggage claim in Melbourne's Tullamarine airport.

I don't think I realized what I was doing until about a week after arriving in Australia, when the jet lag started to wear off and the reality of what was going on around me began to set in. I was no longer in the comfort of my own home where I could pick up and call Danny at the drop of dime, or walk out my front door and be perfectly confident that I knew where I was going. It was a bit scary at first, but strangely liberating to finally feel 100% independent. I felt for the first time in my life I was finally following one of my dreams all the way through to the end. And now, I am getting to enjoy the consequences of something that I made happen - entirely on my own.

I am continually meeting new people from all walks of life, in various social and professional settings; and am constantly reminded of how lucky I am to be able to have this opportunity; to follow my heart and live out one of my dreams. People are repeatedly telling me they wish they could get up and do something like that, they wish they had the courage to travel to the places they've always dreamed about, or start that non-profit they've talked about for years, or even just have the courage to walk into a bar alone and introduce themselves to someone new.

At first I would always say something along the lines of 'Ya, you're right I am really lucky - it's really amazing that I was given this opportunity.....blah blah blah'

But why? Why would I say that? I haven't won the lottery or been given some sort of special gift that only a certain number of people can enjoy. What I'm doing is not out of bounds for anyone. Everyone has the ability to take a step back and look at what is truly important in their lives and figure out a way to make that their reality. For me, right now, in my life it's important to get a better look at the what's out there and travel. To live in different countries and understand the world from a different perspective, with a different set of scenery to guide the way.

There are so many reminders in the news headlines, in our communities and even in our families, that life is short - and in many cases, much shorter than we would have ever liked or imagined. And the day that I stepped into to MSP airport, with four pieces of luggage and a one-way ticket, I made a conscious decision that I was not going to settle for an average or mediocre lifestyle. Something that everyone is perfectly capable of doing.

It's easy to caught up in a routine, the hustle and bustle of what is supposed to happen, and the million reasons why you're too busy for anything other than work; but at what point do you stop and say am I truly happy? Is what I'm doing right now really what I want out of life? If you knew you only had another few years to live - would you be happy with your reality?

All I'm trying to say is that we all have the power to follow through and make the slightest change in our lives to turn our dreams into memories. Figure out what it is your passionate about, rearrange a few things to get the vision a little more in focus and follow that dream through to the end.I've tried it for myself and let me tell you it has been an unforgettable experience that, in so many ways, has been life-changing.

I can't tell you how welcoming and supportive everyone I've come into contact with the past three months have been. I am truly grateful to each one of them for making me feel like I have a home here in Melbourne and that choosing to do something out of the norm or off the beaten path is OK.