Day 2 at Home - Homesick Already

I've been back in Minnesota for two days now and for some reason St. Paul doesn't feel like home to me anymore. It's always great to come back to MN and be with my family and friends, but nothing feels quite right to me. I've noticed that everything is so quiet here and I am convinced that the population has decreased by at least 25% since the last time I was home. I hate that in the past 24 hours I've driven more miles around the city to see friends, go to the grocery store or even to the mall than I have in the past 4 years that I lived in Chicago. I miss being able to walk everywhere, hop on the train or choose from one of 5 million cabs driving down the street. I miss having all of my stuff in my own apartment all organized and neat. I miss being able to hear the train outside my window and see the lights of the city from my bedroom. I hate that we have to organize cars to get to the bar and sort out designated people to drive us home. I hate that ordering a Peroni or Heineken is like speaking a foreign language to most bartenders and if you are not a Miller High Life fan you will not survive most Tuesday and Wednesday nights throughout the entire metro area. I miss my friends being a 10 minute walk, the liquor store delivering until midnight and I can't believe I'm even going to admit this, but I actually miss the stupid little rat dogs outside my apartment. (Sorry for the rant on MN I'm clearly feeling a little homesick today for Chicago and getting a bit nervous for the next big move - bear with me I'm sure it will all pass soon enough. I'm really not normally like this.)

We made the trip back from Chicago to MN in one piece even with me driving a 20 foot U-Haul and my mom trying to keep herself calm with the occasional gin and tonic along the way. After 8 hours of driving and only one legitimate accident scare, my life is now scattered around the basement in 25 boxes waiting to be organized and packed up for Australia. I will admit that yes as the days pass and the big moving day gets closer and closer I am getting less sleep and a little more nervous with each hour. Over the past three weeks I have probably woken up at least once every 5 days or so in the middle of the night freaking out about leaving the States. It's not that I'm scared it won't work out or that I will hate it, it's just the fact that I don't have my own apartment sorted out yet, the people I know can be counted on one hand and all of my good friends are still in Chicago, enjoying all of the amazing things that the windy city has to offer during summer as I go off to another stupid winter! (seriously this was a decision that I really should have thought through a little more than I did!)

Don't get me wrong I'm not regretting the choice that I made and I am really very excited to go, it's just all happening so fast and I don't feel like I have a lot of control at this point. I am so used to a very structured and routine schedule, that the thought of having the next 30 days off and no real priorities to attend to stresses me out. ( I know. I know. The smallest violin in the world is playing in each one of your hearts for the very tough little life I lead :) )

Enough sappy and emotional postings. Here are a few pictures from my first weekend back in MN. We had a bunch of summer BBQ type stuff to go to right away with the senior graduation season upon us, birthdays and Father's Day. So needless to say tomorrow's weather forecast of 90 and sunny is going to be a perfect excuse to head to the beach and relax! (Lakes are one thing that MN will always do best!)